Poison
by Point of Reason
Summary: Oneshot songfic from Edward's point of view from when Bella tried to kiss him in the meadow.
1. Poison

**Hey! So. Disclaimer and stuff. I don't own anything - Stephenie Meyer rOx My SoX!! And the song is called "Poison" by Groove Coverage - so I didn't write it. **

**It was just an experiment with Edward's point of view, but I kinda like how it turned out. I thought I'd share it. XD**

**Reviews are swiggity sweet!**

**UPDATE:  
I don't feel like repeating myself, so here's an explanation. **

**I realize that Bella was not trying to kiss Edward in this scene - she merely wanted a little sniff-sniff. But if you were Edward, what would you assume? Girl plus boy sitting in meadow, girl leans in to face, boy is really vampire and runs away. I just figured that from Edward's point of view - and seeing as he can't read Bella's mind - he'd gather that she was trying to kiss him.**

**So I hope that makes things more clear. This is just my perspective, so... yeah.**

**Reviews are still swiggity sweet!**

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"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

Afraid. She was afraid. Well, certainly she was afraid, who in their right mind _wouldn't_ be afraid of a monster? And that was exactly what I was – a monster. It pained me to know that she was afraid. I wanted so badly for her to feel safe with me, but at the same time I knew it to be impossible. To feel safe with me would lure her into a false sense of security. I could snap at any moment. I'd proven to myself that I was strong to resist her, but how long _could_ I resist her? Her fingers sent a shock of warmth into the marrow of my bones and I sighed.

_I_ was the one who should be afraid, actually. I was afraid that I'd never felt this strongly about anyone ever. I'd never wanted to be with _anyone_ the way I wanted to be with her. The feeling was nerve wracking, yet, somehow invigorating. Warm. I wanted to be close to Bella. But it was dangerous. I wanted to be close to her, but would I be able to without hurting her? Could I control those instincts to kill enough to touch her as lightly as she was touching me? The thought of accidentally crushing Bella's beautiful face, her skull, lingered with me for a moment before I pushed it to the back of my mind. I would not, _could_ not hurt her.

"I don't want you to be afraid."

"Well," she chirped. Her soft voice was so delicate, so fragile. It added to the already intensely breakable illusion of her. "That's not exactly the fear I meant, though that's certainly something to think about."

I sat up, perplexed. If she wasn't afraid I would kill her, what could she possibly fear? Her warm hand was still wrapped around mine, and my close proximity to her face gave me a full blast of her scent. I felt the bloodlust start to affect my impulses. The venom in my mouth pooled, preparing my mouth to clamp down onto her smooth flesh… she was so vulnerable right now. We were all alone, it would be so simple to just take her right there and have my fill of her. But even as my instincts were telling me to do it, I refused. I took a gulp of air, letting her scent wash over me, trying to become immune to the tantalizing odor. I would not harm her. If I did… I would not be able to live with myself.

A pathetic excuse for living, it was. I had not felt _alive_ in the longest time. But now, sitting here in the middle of my meadow with _her._ With Bella… everything felt so new. The birds seemed happier, the colors seemed brighter… Bella was making me feel _alive._ How could I even consider draining her of her life?

_Your cruel device  
your blood, like ice  
One look, could kill  
My pain, your thrill..._

"What are you afraid of, then?" I whispered, exhaling out her perfect stench. As I did so, her eyes seemed to glaze over. I resisted the temptation to smile. She had once told me it was unfair that I dazzled her, I decided that if I took the opportunity to let out even a mere chuckle at her intoxication by me would earn me no brownie points. Her eyelids flickered as if to close and she slowly began to tilt her head into my face.

She was going to kiss me. Could I let her do that? Could _I_ do that? Or would I lose myself to my obnoxious vampire instincts and kill her? I couldn't take that risk. As much as I wished I could touch those soft, warm lips with my own, I simply could not put her in that danger.

As she leaned closer, I felt the impulse to lunge at her, to sink my venom-coated teeth into her thin, pale neck. I moved away from her as fast as I possibly could. I could not harm Isabella Swan.

_I wanna love you but I better not touch  
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop  
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much  
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison  
Your poison running through my veins  
Your poison  
I don't wanna play these games  
I wanna love you but I better not  
__Poison_

The look that crossed her face when she opened her eyes took its toll on me. The pain and confusion and utter astonishment that engulfed her delicate features only made my lust for her more unbearable. How could a human be so expressive? I'd never seen anything like it.

"I'm… sorry… Edward," she whispered. The sound of her words were nearly lost to me in the breeze tickling the trees.

Sorry? What did she have to be sorry for? She had her human instincts, and I had my… non-human instincts. Her brain had told her to lean forward, to kiss me. Her brain had told her that, because my vampire instincts had leaked out of my carefully built walls even though I didn't realize it. When she said I was "dazzling" her, it was merely my effective weapon of charm that was calling out to her. It was dangerous – just like the rest of me. I couldn't afford to do that again. I couldn't afford to lose control again.

But the draw of her _lips…_ it was nearly unbearable to run from them just now. They called to me just as her blood did. I wanted so badly to crush those lips to mind – I wanted it more than I'd ever truly wanted anything. And it was the only thing that I could not have. Not now, at least. Perhaps if I could gain control of my impulses, I could contain them enough to touch my lips to hers…

_Your mouth, so hot  
Your web, I'm caught  
Your skin, so wet  
Black lace, on sweat_

"Give me a moment," I called back to her. She froze. Was she scared again?

It really only took a moment for me to compose myself. I strode back to her, but stopped a few feet away. If she was scared, I did not want to further push that fear into hysteria. I took a couple of breaths to desensitize myself to her again. I looked, again, at her bewildered face. I smiled, trying to reassure her that I was alright now.

"I am so very sorry," I said slowly, trying to figure out the words I should use to express myself. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"

She nodded once, still obviously apprehensive. I could hear her heart beating wildly in her chest. It didn't help to the calming effect, but it was a mesmerizing pulse that I _never_ wanted to hear come to an end.

_I hear you calling and it's needles and pins  
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name  
Don't wanna touch you but you're under my skin  
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison  
Your poison running through my veins  
Your poison  
I don't wanna break these chains_


	2. Goodbye to You

Hello, anyone who's reading.

I have come to say an official farewell. Twilight Fanfiction was my world for a good amount of time. I gathered fans and readers and a lot of positive feedback, and it was an eye opener for me. Because of this website and Twilight in general, I know now that I want to be a writer. In the fall, I will be attending Susquehanna University as a creative writing major - pursuing my dreams, something I never thought I'd end up doing. There will always, always be a special place in my heart for Twilight, but it's been time to move on...for a long time. I will not be completing Hero or What Would the Neighbors Think? because I do not have enough interest in them anymore. I thoroughly enjoyed my time here, and everyone has been incredibly kind. My sincerest thanks to all of you - without your eager reviews, who knows where I'd be? I will still read fanfiction and review your stories, but updating (as you may have noticed) will not be happening anymore.

If you are ever in the mood to say hello or even if you liked my writing enough (which is hard to believe, haha. Looking back on these stories is a trip - they're _absurd!_) I ask you to swing by my FictionPress account or my Mibba account. If you get to know me, I may even offer my MySpace URL. For now, though, I ask you look at my bio for the links to the websites where I will post my original works.

Thank you again, everyone. It's been so fun.

I adore you all,  
Mel.


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